Wednesday, 11 March 2015

The Twitter Crush, in Flesh.

*phone rings*

"Hi, my name is Aisha (not real name), and you just sent your number on facebook."

Then my voice deepens, as it always would when there was a lady on the other side of the phone. Trying to sound all relaxed even though I was overly excited, I listened to all she had to say. But what caught me was the fact that she had a crush me, and wasn't shy to tell. As much as I felt same way, one of us being the fool was more than enough. I was just gonna play calm and act like I was doing her a favor (or wasn't I?).

I had stumbled on her profile via a mutual friend's, and I did the only reasonable thing at the time, *Retweet a Tweet*. That gets all the attention one would ever ask.
Two days later, she was in my DM with a "Hello", and the next five had her on the telephone.

We spoke for over an hour, and you would have taught we were friends a long time. Such charm.
I was happy to get involved. What was there to lose?

What was on her avi (display picture), turned out to be an entirely different person, or was I dreaming?
We had agreed to meet at a lounge, the privacy was needed, and it was close to my office.

I walked in at 6:13pm, after an unsuccessful scan of the area, I had to ring her.
"Bae where are you, just wave or something".

What waved back was like something out a horror movie;
Terrible makeup!
Bad hair!
Bubble-gum chewing!
Stained blouse!
And worse? She was "Monochrome"! White on the face, black on the legs.


My expectations? Crumbled!!!
I was sad.

5 minutes later, I faked a call with my boss, and had to leave.
5 seconds later, my twitter account had no knowledge of her.

Good Riddance!
Itodo Abbah
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